Shingirayi Mandebvu's Blog

Yesterday was the warning, todays like the morning after. I was a fool yes, but get these wise words. Your world was torn in half, you wake in its wake to start the mourning process and rebuilding, you're still a work in progress. Today's a whole new chapter; it’s like an enormous asthma. Thunderstorm has passed you; you weathered it and poked its eye out. With the thorn bush that you used to smell the roses. Stopped to inhale, can't even tell your nose is stuffed. So focused on the bright side, then you floor the gas pedal. And hit the corner fast, the more asserted, never looking back. May hit the curb, but every day is a new learning curve, as you steer through life, sometimes you might not want to swerve. But you have to, to avert a disaster, lucky, no permanent damage. Because they hurt you so bad, it's like they murdered you. And threw dirt on your casket, but you've returned from the ashes. And that hurt that you have, you just converted to fuel. A...

She can tell me she hasn’t read any of my blogs or posts – as long as she tells me one day she plans to see them all. Lately I feel like the past I left in my fast life is catching up with me. I freeze frame every moment, every second- like I did a crime that left me to be haunted by the ghosts of our pasts. I did not know what I had till I lost it, but I have realized that I didn’t give her everything- I made her my everything. Home is where the heart is, talk about being homeless . It’s funny to think of it all- how she would always complain; being sad that she was a hopeless romantic. Now you leave me a hopeful cynic- up to now you confuse my thoughts and words. But it’s like the moment I saw my mother cry; I stood up and realized I had a massive deadline of goals. I hate the fact that my mom still has to work when I promised her better days when we left him. Maybe it’s the pressure for success but no man on this earth is born Mr. Right. I’d rather make mistakes than to fak...

Yeah, I messed up, but you hurt me, Blew it like it’s yo’ birthday. And you love it baby on Wednesday, but I make you sick on Thursday. And I know I'm wrong and you shutin’ down, and I touch down like “What now?”. Why we going through all this? Why things gotta be rough now? But, you had so many break-ups, you can't believe. You go and break my heart that I forgive and I ain't leave. Don't define you by your faults, ain't gon’ push your buttons either. Everyday we startin’ fresh, this is how it's s’posed to be. Never try to take advantage, you respect me as a man. But every once ‘a while you get to popping off and say stuff you shouldn't be sayin’. But I'm witchu, I ain't playin’, if it's thick or if it's thin. I be makin’ you mad, girl. But you said you'll never leave me lonely. So Ill have to put a ring up on it, ‘cause our commitment ain't no game. Yeah we laugh, but we ain't playin’, Imma always be yo’ man. And I know someti...

The ball hits the ground. Silence… As the crowd screams for the other team, he drops onto his knees finding that inextricable weakness that disappointment brings. A trickle of sweat cascades down his head, merging with the tears, silenced by pride, pouring out – some of that liquid finding itself on the ground – most facing a sudden death from his hands. His teammates are scattered everywhere, the winners crowding like ants and eating all the space.    It’s true he practiced so hard, and when it mattered the most- he let everyone down. A vicious cycle, so it seems. The odds keep winning like a dictatorship in his state of affairs. No one acknowledges him- his work, his effort. And it’s such a wonder how they can recall every detail of those around him. He feels stranded, lost and his mind in a senseless bizarre daze. He cannot even feel the chilling feeling as the sweat flooded vest he wears comes in contact with the indifferent breeze. He rises sl...